Being a single mother can have its challenges. For one, all the weight is on you when you have your children with you. And even those whose husbands aren’t around as much, they at least have a soundboard to go to when challenges come up or the simple grind of every day life.
There is the support from their significant other
Being a single mom myself, I understand this well. I also can feel the pangs when holidays come along. Mother’s Day is one of those holidays that can make me feel all sorts of ways that aren’t so bright. Here is what I realized a year ago or so and I wanted to share with all those who are struggling on this Mother’s Day.
1. Invite in all of your feelings
Embrace them. Feel them. You are allowed to feel the way you do. When we push away our feelings and judge them, that’s when they surface more and its harder to come out of the cycle. Write down what you are experiencing. Honor your feelings. And then see if you can shift your mindset to what you DO have today in this moment. Write down all that you have to be grateful for.
Decide what YOU want to do. This is your day. Tell your children you want to sleep in if that’s what you want. If you have really little kids and that can’t happen, find other ways of self-care you can shower over your heart. Do you want to spend the day in the park? Having a picnic? Or maybe cuddling your little ones on the couch and watching a movie. Whatever makes you feel more bright, do that. This is your day.
Get really quiet and breathe in for five, breathe out for five through your nose. See if you can focus on the rise and fall of your breath, as you smile and think of a peaceful place. This place can be from nature or anywhere you visited that brings you peace. When we get quiet, and break through the noise, the stories we tell ourselves begin to lessen.
4. Celebrate who you are
This is a day to recognize you. And my goodness, you are beautiful. You are strong. You are holding up a fort. Never take the love you have for your children and all you do for them for granted. I know this one is challenging. I myself need to remember this one. It’s easy to judge ourselves in mothering and always want to do more. But we are all doing the best we can. And that is something to celebrate.
Laughter is so paramount to motherhood. Laugh at the shortcomings, your children’s and yours. Laugh at the mess, Laugh at where life brought you, and smile at this journey. Because this journey is yours and that in itself is a gift.