”Simply Complicated”
My name is Kenia and I am 27 years old. I was born in the Dominican Republic and raised in New York City. I am mother a to a beautiful baby boy. (He is no longer a baby, but will forever be my baby boy.) I created a blog called “Simply Complicated” for one reason: to show people that no one struggling with anxiety or depression is alone. My blog is based on my life, but written in such a way that others can relate.
It was not okay to make mistakes
Being raised in a Dominican family wasn’t easy for me. I was not allowed to make any mistakes or say certain things without getting in trouble. After losing my sister, life became harder for me. I was expected to take care of things that a child/young adult shouldn’t have to take care of. Yes, hard to believe, but it’s true and I’m sure you can only imagine how this made me feel. I learned that triumphs weren’t going to come easy. In my family, it was okay to go through struggles and trials, but it was not okay to make mistakes. This made me feel like I couldn’t be who I wanted to be. I was hiding, and was afraid to show the REAL me.
My life consisted of a lot of caffeine and sleepless nights
The first “mistake” that I made, in my parent’s eyes, was when I had my son at the early age of 19. They felt as though my education and career would be ruined now that I had a baby. They felt that being a mother was going to stop me from growing, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. I will say it was very difficult being a mother to a new born while also being a full-time student in my second year of college. I traveled back and forth from Philadelphia to New York three times a week. My life consisted of a lot of caffeine and sleepless nights. People would often tell me that I should sleep when the baby slept, but how could I when I had papers due, projects and homework that all needed to be done. If my son was up, I wanted to be up with him so he could feel my presence and know that his mommy was there. I did this for three years straight, and even though it was hard, I was too focused to give up. My son was my motivation and I promised him I would do this for him.
My education allowed me to network, travel and meet independent, powerful and driven women
By the age of 24, I completed not only my undergrad but also my graduate degree. I will never forget the day I graduated the pride that I felt when I saw how excited my son was. My parents were shocked that I finished school (something they never thought I could do). It was at that moment that I began to believe in myself. I realized that I could do anything if I stayed focused and dedicated.
My education allowed me to network, travel and meet independent, powerful and driven women that had different goals and ideas. It also made me realize that I love to travel, meet new people and learn about their culture. Not to mention, you can get new and bigger ideas when you expand your horizons.
I currently work full time as an Insurance Agent for a well known insurance company. I did not originally think that I would do this for as long as I have. Over the years, I have been able to move up in the agency, learn and travel. The most important thing about my job is that I feel as though I can express my ideas, thoughts and personality without being held back. That to me is a huge plus!
I still felt like something was missing
Even with having both degrees, a great job, a beautiful family and so many blessings, I still felt like something was missing. I was unhappy and it was affecting me mentally and emotionally. I was depressed and my partner and my son started to notice. I wanted to explode and just say what was holding me back, but I was afraid of rejection; I was afraid of gossip; I was afraid of how my parents were going to react…
This is when I knew that I couldn’t let the fear take control of me. I approached my parents and I as took a big breath… I told them my sexual preferences. I was into girls, and always have been. I immediately felt a huge weight off my shoulders. This, however, was a huge shock to them and I could see that they were hurt. The words and disappointment made this mistake number 500, (I may be over exaggerating, but I lost count since what was right to me could have been wrong to them). At that moment, I was bashed, disowned and ridiculed. So many emotions occurred within the next two years that I distanced myself from a lot (I spoke a little about my experience on my page so go check it out).
“It’s time that I take some time for me”
Being ambitious and having two full time jobs (being a mom and working) I started to lose myself. I couldn’t read the books I wanted, and if I did start I couldn’t finish them. I was so focused on making everything right and perfect that I lost what my potential was. So, at the age of 27, I said to myself “it’s time that I take some time for me”. I needed to be able to take the time to either gather my thoughts, give my mind a breather or even take a time out from my everyday life.
Why I wanted to start my blog?
In the summer of 2017, I came back from vacation and I told my partner “I think it’s time I start my own page”. I’ve always been an audacious person and I like to do my own thing (even if it was behind my parents back). I said “what the heck” and started designing my own page. At first, the page was created for me to express myself through my own life experiences. It was an outlet for me to talk about my lows, what motivated me and things that showed me why I am happier now with my life than I was back then. Once I started to see that my visitors were relating to my life stories, the page became more than just a “me” page but an “us” page. I wanted everyone to know that I wasn’t alone and neither were they.
Through this process, I have met so many wonderful people and have gotten a lot of positive feedback. It makes me feel great when they say “I am going through the same thing” or “I can relate to this”. Great and Positive vibes is what I call it and I love it.
Expressing who you are is never an easy thing to do. You never know how others may react to what you say or what you write, but you always hope for the best. This was a huge step out of my comfort zone but I am beyond grateful and thankful for the success of the page so far. I can only hope to continue to encourage and inspire others as I continue this journey.
I always say… “Everyone has their own story. We all have something that makes us great and we shouldn’t be afraid to speak on it.”
I want to inspire and I want to be inspired.
-KB
![From Music to Perfume: How did your background as a music teacher influence your transition into perfumery, and how do you incorporate your musical sensibilities into creating fragrances? I’ve always thought in terms of metaphors, and music has many that can be related to perfumery! Beyond just thinking in terms of top, middle and base notes [soprano/alto/tenor in choir], I approach each fragrant idea as a composition. When documenting my ideas, song structures often come to mind. As the scent brief is visited, I meditate on what the fragrance should convey - do I want to create an accord or a “chord” of fragrance note combinations? Do I want an a capella soloist (a particular ingredient to stand out more than others?) Many of my thoughts regarding song composition transfers to my scent formulation process, with me treating each note as an intentional soliloquy at some point.
Brand Origin: What inspired you to start Pink MahogHany in 2005, and how has your vision for the brand evolved since its inception?
An avid lover of all things pleasantly scented (with slight modesty), looking back in retrospect, it’s no huge surprise that I’ve created an indie perfume house with just an idea to provide unique options for those who may be sensitive to unnecessary pungency. Initially, I just wanted to evaluate various blends to note their aroma profiles when “played” together…it wasn’t until I had friends and family asking if I knew of brands that catered to those who may be on the more olfactory sensitive side, that I really began to take my research more seriously. In the almost 20 years that Pink MahogHany has been in existence, our micro visions for the brand have evolved to larger territory. Where Pink MahogHany used to only be a personal brand, we are now also a bespoke formulation service provider to other indie brands seeking unique fragrance offerings for their products. These products range from (but are not limited to) perfumes, candles, body butters and lip balms. Ingredient Transparency: You emphasize transparency and the use of desirable ingredients in your products. How do you select your ingredients, and what challenges have you faced in maintaining this standard?
Being an indie brand often comes with a set of assumptions and misconceptions - one of them being more negative than positive as it relates to ingredients used. There is a lot of “fluff” in the industry with labeling falsification. Because fragrance formulas are a trade secret, not every molecular breakdown of a material has to be noted on the ingredient label (it would be incredibly long), but we at Pink MahogHany™️ adhere strongly to the IFRA [International Fragrance Regulatory Association] regulations that state for common and potential allergens to be listed on our ingredient label. We’ve taken this a step further to also include these ingredients listed on our website to promote further transparency, all while protecting our intellectual property. Unfortunately, we’ve had companies to unethically sell lesser expensive “dupes” of our artisan perfumes, so as a way to create a better authenticity stamp, we make it our duty to be honest about our claims. If our perfume says “Rose Bulgaria”, it is in fact just that and not a component of rose being passed off as the source material. Collaborations and Custom Scents: Can you share more about your work with private label clients? What excites you most about creating custom scent solutions for other indie brands? I could easily sum this up in one word and say “Funding.” True, there is money out there, but I’m always thinking outside the box. Having a program that has an “Each One Fund One” mentality doesn’t exist (that I’ve been made aware of). Bootstrapping can be quite the challenge, even when you’ve reached the 6-figure mark annually. Competition to be seen and set apart is extremely high, so having quality packaging and branding is a must. There are lots of factors to consider, though when desiring to make upgrades. If there were a unique, tier-geared funding operation available, it would help perfume brands offset packaging and bulk material costs in the beginning stages.
Industry Challenges: What are some of the biggest challenges you've faced as an independent fragrance house, and how have you overcome them to grow your brand? As the brand continues on the path of organic growth, I would like to expand our reach into schools, offering perfumery as an arts elective for middle and high school. I’d love to partner with botanists, farmers and horticulturists directly to grow and source raw materials for the students to work with in the creation of tinctures. My passion is getting back to nature as best as possible, as nature was my first “scent experience” as a child. We would also love to witness our fragrance creations being used to scent model homes, our focus diffuser blends being used in automobile dealerships as well as partner with Air Bnb and boutique hotels that specialize in highlighting minority, indie brands. Personal Journey: How has your personal experience, particularly as a divorced mother and someone who has experienced the loss of a child, shaped your approach to life and your work in perfumery?
Because I homeschool my twin sons, we are together a lot more than most, so one thing we all do is have moments of sharing where a neutral “floor” is laid to converse about anything. Though they are quite communicative by nature, I realize that sometimes I can be in work mode so much that it spills over into what should be our quality time. My sons see the authentic me and learn how to communicate through seeing authenticity. I’ve learned not to feel as if I have to be the epitome of perfection but allow them to see my imperfections vulnerably but with discernment. Having had two traumatic experiences pretty close together has taught me how to truly slow down and enjoy the simplicities of life - igniting a spiritual aspect that I’ve always carried but never fully explored…until Kenji’s sudden passing (2018.) Grief has a way of catapulting us into a quest for more meaningfulness in both life and business. After Kenji’s passing and my processing through the initial stages of grief, I was able to incorporate our spiritual bond into Pink MahogHany by way of essential oil diffuser blends for both focus and sleep and most recently aromatic perfume elixirs. It’s been quite the process channeling the void of his physical presence, but I also have peace knowing he can be honored in a great way through scent. I noticed once I began to be more open and receptive to spiritual signs, synchs and “winks”, more ideas began to flow. It’s been this way since his transition. Emotional Expression: Fragrance is often tied to memories and emotions. How does your personal life influence the fragrances you create, and do you have a particular scent that holds special meaning to you? My creative process is much more alchemic now, and I include Kenji by talking out loud to him, believe it or not. I’m a firm believer that when our loved ones transition from the physical plane, they are still present - just in another form. I choose to keep his memory alive by not pretending he never existed (even if for a brief period of time). I am working (slowly) on a book and accompanying fragrance, but I know it will require me to revisit some memories I’m not quite ready for, so until then, his big brothers will launch their debut fragrance, The Peaceful Tiger (they chose the name.) I’ve learned that even in what we consider “small things”, our transitioned loved ones want to be recognized and acknowledged. When the twins and I designed their fragrance label (with a designer out of the country that didn’t know anything about me personally), we had issues with the graphic - so much so that the designer asked if they could rework the design. When they sent the proof for approval, the Tiger was not only younger but sleeping, with an uncanny, angelic resemblance to baby Kenji! Becoming more aware and being more sensitive to my intention for launching a fragrance has definitely made room for more divine situations like these to occur. Healing Through Scent: In what ways has creating fragrances been a form of healing or expression for you, especially after the loss of your son, Kenji Mwamba? I know my sons may not necessarily want to be perfumers, but they definitely have an entrepreneurial heart. My desire is that whatever they decide to pursue (acting, script-writing, music or architecture), they know that anything is possible with the right amount of determination, grit, belief and immersion. One reason I chose to homeschool is so they could enjoy learning without restraint and have ample time to devote to their own separate passions and it still be fun. They know Pink MahogHany is theirs if they want it (many, many years from now - lol), and we are already discussing business structures for whatever they choose their role to be once I retire. Work-Life Balance: How do you find balance between your professional responsibilities and personal well-being, and what self-care practices do you prioritize? I’m not just a perfumer; I’m also a consumer, and self-care is huge for me. I often take salt baths to reset my energy and clear my mind after being around large groups of people or free a long day. I’m a habitual perfume sampler, and I have so many to choose from to wear as my “nightcap.” Even if just for 10-15 minutes, I cherish each moment I’m able to have some “me-time.” When time and co-parenting schedules permit, I’m definitely on a flight somewhere to indulge in some delicious food and mouth-watering mocktails!](https://www.womenontopp.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/IMG_3812-1200x720.jpeg)
You are very inspirational.. keep being the beautiful person that you are!!