After many years in corporate jobs specializing in hospitality and fashion, I woke up with a feeling of dread every day I went to work. It was a horrible and debilitating feeling to not enjoy what you do even though you knew you were good at it. I thought since I was good at it – since I was good at something – that this was all I was meant to do. And I did it for years… Not realizing it was chipping away at me until I no longer wanted to do it anymore due to burnout – both physically and mentally.
In these fields, a lot of my value was based on what I was able to perform. I felt like a dancing monkey performing in hopes to convince others that I deserved this money, or salary, or position. And perform I did! I built a lucrative career but in the end, I felt so sad and numb inside. Empty…
However, there was a huge reward in this experience.
I loved my team – still do. I helped them grow in their positions and their careers. Guiding them so that they were able to learn and expand in such a way that they could build a solid foundation for themselves. Even after many years, I still get the occasional phone call, text or a DM saying that they “miss working with me.” I then think to myself “I must have done something right…” And that’s all we wonder sometimes in life right? If we had an impact somehow in this physical life… If we were able to help and impact others in a profound way.
This snowballed into a much deeper journey of understanding what my purpose was in this physical life. I know it wasn’t for some, but Covid was a blessing to me. Since being on my own at such a young age, this was the breather I finally had to just sit and ask myself what I wanted after 19 years of just go go go survival mode. And believe me, having a moment of stillness like this while others were dying and struggling through a very difficult pandemic, was intense in that I felt guilty for feeling like I finally had some peace.
But in this stillness, I learned more and more about what connection really is… For people and for myself as an individual. After being a nomad for a year, connecting with people along the way, I finally realized a piece of the puzzle that was missing:
We all yearn for connection.
The ability to connect on a deeper level with others and the world around us. The ability to understand each other on a non-surface level. Though some of us are really good at being alone – me being one of those people – as humans, we aren’t meant to be alone or isolated. We all deserve and want to be loved, seen, heard and accepted just as we are.
I CAN’T IMAGINE DOING ANYTHING ELSE
This journey led me here… To fully embody that I am a connection and alignment coach. I provide a safe space and platform for those to come as they are and share themselves. To open up their hearts and minds to further understand their roadblocks and the things they are having trouble letting go of that is preventing them from connecting with all relationships in the aspect of their life experience – romantic, family, work, friendships, and themselves. And as simply as offering a safe space to just listen to them…
1. Can you open up a bit about your work and career?
It’s been a long journey to get to this place. I didn’t always know what my heart’s work was or what was meant for me. Since the young age of 17, I have lived on my own due to traumatic events surrounding my relationship with my now-estranged mother. From then on, it has been fight or flight mode. All I knew was that I needed to survive; I needed to find a place to live, a job that can pay my rent, and food to eat while I try to put myself through college.
My first work experience started in the hospitality industry. Hospitality is beautiful in that it gives people an opportunity to work and build a career without requiring prior experience or education. Out of my need for survival, it was the logical next step. I excelled in my hospitality roles and was eventually given an opportunity to pivot my career working in marketing and fashion. But, something was missing…
When you do things, even great accomplishments out of the need for survival, you forget to ask yourself sometimes: what is it that you actually love and want to do for yourself? Though Covid was hard for many, it gave me the time to truly answer that question – a breather from just “surviving” this life. In that, I discovered what my superpower was:
My empathy and ability to love and understand people on a deeper level.
Without consciously realizing it, I was already fully embodying myself as a connection and alignment coach by empowering and helping people lean into their own superpowers. I took a big leap and risk by creating my business and it has made me the happiest I have ever been in my life. Being a witness in someone’s journey and seeing them bloom, is one of the most rewarding things I could ever experience in my work.
2. Tell us in your own words what do you do?
As a connection and alignment coach, what is most important is that I provide my clients a safe space for self-expression void of any judgment or criticism. When given room to speak your truth, it invites a deep level of revelation to take place. Revealing things that you may not have been able to see before because the lens in which you “see” has been defined by what you have experienced in your human experience.
In this space and through these moments of revelation, I guide my clients to dive inward… To dive deeper. Uprooting a lot of ‘what happened to them’ in order to gracefully honor those moments in their life and then release what no longer serves them. Thus allowing them to stay in their present moment. Releasing a past that no longer exists and embracing a future they can create starting with a fresh blank canvas.
In releasing what no longer serves them, my clients make room for other loving, healthy and rewarding experiences to unfold and emerge. They begin to step into their power. A power they either knew was there but was buried deep within themselves, or one they never knew they could cultivate and grow into.
As they begin to embrace their transformation, my clients then feel empowered to step proudly into the world with a new lens and invite healthier relationship dynamics in every aspect of their lives. Making beautiful and loving connections that are in alignment with their highest self.
I do this level of work through my coaching programs. The goal for my clients is to graduate from these programs with confidence in themselves that they feel ready to “fly the coop.” The coop being the safe space that we facilitated and nurtured together. Even after graduating my program, my clients will always know that the safe space is here for them if they ever need more guidance as they continue to explore and unfold in their journeys.
3. What was your thought process behind starting your business?
Covid really gave me an immense time of reflection. Something I am incredibly thankful for even though it pained me knowing that so many suffered during a very traumatic pandemic. My desire to serve people for the greater good grew even more during this time. However, the way in which my business was born, was through a very brief yet powerful discussion about OnlyFans.
Covid was extremely interesting in that it drove people to be very creative in ways to find a means to bring in income – to survive. With our ever-evolving technology, people found ways to use it to their advantage and the idea of utilizing newer platforms that offer direct client interaction opened up a deep thought process for me.
Yes, perhaps it meant that some people showcased their bodies. But that is only one of many ways these platforms provided something of importance for people…
There was one account where you can pay someone to call you everyday to ask one question – “How was your day?” And that’s when the lightbulb went off for me. A sort of full circle in realizing one very important universal need…
We all yearn for connection.
In this case, this person needed to hear a voice. And it took them to a place where they felt important enough for someone to ask them how their day was. To feel seen… It seems so simple, yet heartbreaking in some way to know how lonely it may feel to not have that.
Covid revealed to many, including myself, how incredibly lonely isolation can be. We aren’t meant to be alone in this world. Connection is what keeps us alive even beyond our physical self.
It affirmed that my heart’s work was to continue to nurture the connection within people. Thus inspiring me to create my remote coaching program.
4. Who are your clients?
My clients are those that feel a level of misalignment within themselves. This misalignment, it begins to carry over into different aspects of their lives affecting their relationship dynamics.
It can affect how they work with their colleagues, how they are developing romantic relationships, and how they nurture their family and friendship dynamics. But more importantly, I found that the relationship that is most affected, is the one they have with themselves.
You are the root of each relationship dynamic you invite into your life. If you are rooted in an unsteady foundation, then the relationship branches built from this foundation can be at risk to break.
Through my coaching, my clients begin to build a strong foundation to root in as they slowly find ways to nurture the branches of each of their relationships in a healthy way. This begins with nurturing the foundation in which they are rooted in – themselves.
Having a strong connection within yourself, waters and nurtures the root in your foundation.
5. What is your biggest challenge since becoming an entrepreneur?
Realizing that in order to continue to nurture the connection and alignment with others, I must also practice my own level of self-care and love. I cannot be of service to others if I am unable to provide nourishment and care for myself on a deeper level. The importance of self-love is a fundamental practice in my coaching.
6. What has been the worst moment of your career so far?
Like many, I suffer from self-sabotage and self-limiting beliefs. Being my own worst critic places me in a box that doesn’t allow room for expansion. At times, especially when taking big leaps and risks, the level of self-doubt was so debilitating that I became stagnant; incessantly questioning if what I was doing was the right path…
I asked myself many times if it made more sense to go back to my old career in hospitality knowing it would give me a level of security. However, like many times before, when I would do that, I always cycled back to a deep moment of dread knowing that I wanted more for myself. I would beat myself up for going through the same cycle over and over again. I wanted to do something I loved and not just something to survive.
The stagnation resulted in a pause in my work and it felt like I was watching my dream slowly die and slip through my fingers. That was one of the worst moments of my career – being so close to giving up on a dream that I had worked so hard to build for myself and knowing that I was allowing my self-sabotage to take the driver’s seat in my life.
7. What is the one piece of advice that has impacted you the most?
The best advice that I ever received was when someone told me to “own it.” So much of my human experience and trauma molded a world for me in which I thought the “right way” was to be what I thought everyone wanted me to be. I became an ultimate people pleaser and in that I lost my voice. Perhaps I never knew how to use it to begin with… Everything I learned, I took to heart – making myself a chameleon to adapt to any situation, scenario or environment. Which for me, meant that I let my identity fall into the hands of anyone or anything that needed me to be a certain way for them.
I would continue this cycle so many times that I eventually became extremely uncomfortable, and at times, even physically ill. I didn’t have the awareness at the time to understand. In my case, this was a direct result of what happens to me when I don’t “own” my life and allow others to dictate how to live it for me.
It took those three words to throw me off the tumultuous rollercoaster. “Diem…OWN IT.” Own my life – take action, make decisions for myself, and own those actions and decisions even if they take a different direction. I learned that no matter what happens, when you own your life, anything can be adjusted and reoriented to work in your favor because you’re in your power.
When that sank in for me… That’s when my voice came back. And through the power of expression and the use of my voice, many things (including this business I’ve created) started to come to life.
8. If you could go back and tell yourself one thing before beginning your career what would it be?
“Comparison is the ultimate killer.”
There may always be someone better than you, someone smarter than you, more beautiful than you, stronger than you… But there is only one you. In that, you are unique. And though there may be many that do the same work as you, you will do your work in a way that is unique to you.
It is in this uniqueness that will resonate with a client more than anyone else who can do the same as you. So don’t compare.
Be you and never look back.
9. What is a skill you think all women should learn and why?
I am not sure if this is considered a skill, but I would say if we women could learn something to elevate us, it should be to continue to support one another. Our divine feminine energy is truly powerful and even more so when we can support and inspire each other collectively.
It is women who have led me to this career path. Their support in me has helped me believe that all of this can be possible. It is the women in my life, especially the ones who raised me – my grandmothers, great grandmother and aunties – that is the reason why I am the woman I am today.
I am so incredibly humbled to be a woman in this world surrounded by other amazing women.
10. Tell us about your proudest achievement?
It was the moment my first client I ever had told me that I changed their life. When you hear something like that, it ignites something inside you and reaffirms that this path you chose for yourself – the path to be of service to others – is the right path.
I didn’t initially choose this career with the idea of “changing lives” as I wasn’t even sure if that was a possibility. But seeing my clients’ growth unfold and hearing that feedback, humbles me. It truly fills my heart and energizes me in such a way that I can’t imagine doing anything else.
![From Music to Perfume: How did your background as a music teacher influence your transition into perfumery, and how do you incorporate your musical sensibilities into creating fragrances? I’ve always thought in terms of metaphors, and music has many that can be related to perfumery! Beyond just thinking in terms of top, middle and base notes [soprano/alto/tenor in choir], I approach each fragrant idea as a composition. When documenting my ideas, song structures often come to mind. As the scent brief is visited, I meditate on what the fragrance should convey - do I want to create an accord or a “chord” of fragrance note combinations? Do I want an a capella soloist (a particular ingredient to stand out more than others?) Many of my thoughts regarding song composition transfers to my scent formulation process, with me treating each note as an intentional soliloquy at some point.
Brand Origin: What inspired you to start Pink MahogHany in 2005, and how has your vision for the brand evolved since its inception?
An avid lover of all things pleasantly scented (with slight modesty), looking back in retrospect, it’s no huge surprise that I’ve created an indie perfume house with just an idea to provide unique options for those who may be sensitive to unnecessary pungency. Initially, I just wanted to evaluate various blends to note their aroma profiles when “played” together…it wasn’t until I had friends and family asking if I knew of brands that catered to those who may be on the more olfactory sensitive side, that I really began to take my research more seriously. In the almost 20 years that Pink MahogHany has been in existence, our micro visions for the brand have evolved to larger territory. Where Pink MahogHany used to only be a personal brand, we are now also a bespoke formulation service provider to other indie brands seeking unique fragrance offerings for their products. These products range from (but are not limited to) perfumes, candles, body butters and lip balms. Ingredient Transparency: You emphasize transparency and the use of desirable ingredients in your products. How do you select your ingredients, and what challenges have you faced in maintaining this standard?
Being an indie brand often comes with a set of assumptions and misconceptions - one of them being more negative than positive as it relates to ingredients used. There is a lot of “fluff” in the industry with labeling falsification. Because fragrance formulas are a trade secret, not every molecular breakdown of a material has to be noted on the ingredient label (it would be incredibly long), but we at Pink MahogHany™️ adhere strongly to the IFRA [International Fragrance Regulatory Association] regulations that state for common and potential allergens to be listed on our ingredient label. We’ve taken this a step further to also include these ingredients listed on our website to promote further transparency, all while protecting our intellectual property. Unfortunately, we’ve had companies to unethically sell lesser expensive “dupes” of our artisan perfumes, so as a way to create a better authenticity stamp, we make it our duty to be honest about our claims. If our perfume says “Rose Bulgaria”, it is in fact just that and not a component of rose being passed off as the source material. Collaborations and Custom Scents: Can you share more about your work with private label clients? What excites you most about creating custom scent solutions for other indie brands? I could easily sum this up in one word and say “Funding.” True, there is money out there, but I’m always thinking outside the box. Having a program that has an “Each One Fund One” mentality doesn’t exist (that I’ve been made aware of). Bootstrapping can be quite the challenge, even when you’ve reached the 6-figure mark annually. Competition to be seen and set apart is extremely high, so having quality packaging and branding is a must. There are lots of factors to consider, though when desiring to make upgrades. If there were a unique, tier-geared funding operation available, it would help perfume brands offset packaging and bulk material costs in the beginning stages.
Industry Challenges: What are some of the biggest challenges you've faced as an independent fragrance house, and how have you overcome them to grow your brand? As the brand continues on the path of organic growth, I would like to expand our reach into schools, offering perfumery as an arts elective for middle and high school. I’d love to partner with botanists, farmers and horticulturists directly to grow and source raw materials for the students to work with in the creation of tinctures. My passion is getting back to nature as best as possible, as nature was my first “scent experience” as a child. We would also love to witness our fragrance creations being used to scent model homes, our focus diffuser blends being used in automobile dealerships as well as partner with Air Bnb and boutique hotels that specialize in highlighting minority, indie brands. Personal Journey: How has your personal experience, particularly as a divorced mother and someone who has experienced the loss of a child, shaped your approach to life and your work in perfumery?
Because I homeschool my twin sons, we are together a lot more than most, so one thing we all do is have moments of sharing where a neutral “floor” is laid to converse about anything. Though they are quite communicative by nature, I realize that sometimes I can be in work mode so much that it spills over into what should be our quality time. My sons see the authentic me and learn how to communicate through seeing authenticity. I’ve learned not to feel as if I have to be the epitome of perfection but allow them to see my imperfections vulnerably but with discernment. Having had two traumatic experiences pretty close together has taught me how to truly slow down and enjoy the simplicities of life - igniting a spiritual aspect that I’ve always carried but never fully explored…until Kenji’s sudden passing (2018.) Grief has a way of catapulting us into a quest for more meaningfulness in both life and business. After Kenji’s passing and my processing through the initial stages of grief, I was able to incorporate our spiritual bond into Pink MahogHany by way of essential oil diffuser blends for both focus and sleep and most recently aromatic perfume elixirs. It’s been quite the process channeling the void of his physical presence, but I also have peace knowing he can be honored in a great way through scent. I noticed once I began to be more open and receptive to spiritual signs, synchs and “winks”, more ideas began to flow. It’s been this way since his transition. Emotional Expression: Fragrance is often tied to memories and emotions. How does your personal life influence the fragrances you create, and do you have a particular scent that holds special meaning to you? My creative process is much more alchemic now, and I include Kenji by talking out loud to him, believe it or not. I’m a firm believer that when our loved ones transition from the physical plane, they are still present - just in another form. I choose to keep his memory alive by not pretending he never existed (even if for a brief period of time). I am working (slowly) on a book and accompanying fragrance, but I know it will require me to revisit some memories I’m not quite ready for, so until then, his big brothers will launch their debut fragrance, The Peaceful Tiger (they chose the name.) I’ve learned that even in what we consider “small things”, our transitioned loved ones want to be recognized and acknowledged. When the twins and I designed their fragrance label (with a designer out of the country that didn’t know anything about me personally), we had issues with the graphic - so much so that the designer asked if they could rework the design. When they sent the proof for approval, the Tiger was not only younger but sleeping, with an uncanny, angelic resemblance to baby Kenji! Becoming more aware and being more sensitive to my intention for launching a fragrance has definitely made room for more divine situations like these to occur. Healing Through Scent: In what ways has creating fragrances been a form of healing or expression for you, especially after the loss of your son, Kenji Mwamba? I know my sons may not necessarily want to be perfumers, but they definitely have an entrepreneurial heart. My desire is that whatever they decide to pursue (acting, script-writing, music or architecture), they know that anything is possible with the right amount of determination, grit, belief and immersion. One reason I chose to homeschool is so they could enjoy learning without restraint and have ample time to devote to their own separate passions and it still be fun. They know Pink MahogHany is theirs if they want it (many, many years from now - lol), and we are already discussing business structures for whatever they choose their role to be once I retire. Work-Life Balance: How do you find balance between your professional responsibilities and personal well-being, and what self-care practices do you prioritize? I’m not just a perfumer; I’m also a consumer, and self-care is huge for me. I often take salt baths to reset my energy and clear my mind after being around large groups of people or free a long day. I’m a habitual perfume sampler, and I have so many to choose from to wear as my “nightcap.” Even if just for 10-15 minutes, I cherish each moment I’m able to have some “me-time.” When time and co-parenting schedules permit, I’m definitely on a flight somewhere to indulge in some delicious food and mouth-watering mocktails!](https://www.womenontopp.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/IMG_3812-1200x720.jpeg)
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