What to Do When You’ve Changed Your Evil Ways and No One Cares
Recently a friend reached out to me and told me that personally they had made some positive changes in their life and they were feeling amazing. I replied with “That’s great!” and “I’m so proud of you!” They were consciously making efforts to change the current trajectory of their life. They eliminated the need to judge others. They replaced negative thoughts with positive ones. They spoke to themselves kindly and when they felt the need to criticize themselves they acknowledged it.
“If you feel like no one cares about you, think again. Look in the mirror because the person you see, needs you more than anyone else.” ~Anonymous
They felt that these actions had affected them tremendously and in return they were happy. They felt lighter. But they felt that their happiness had caused those closest to them to be spiteful. They felt that when they began to evolve their inner circle began to despise them. So my friend came to me and asked why does this happen?
The need to have others acknowledge the new you can be overwhelming. You seek to have them remove previous labels that you feel they have placed on you. You seek their validation. You feel that their encouragement will empower you to continue.
Well the truth is it may take a while to notice. While other times people will not admit that they notice any change. And than there are people who will never change their perception of you, no matter what you do. What you need to do is remind yourself why you started in the first place.
Superficially, what you are seeking is a quick fix. Instant gratification to feed you ego. But what you truly desire is inside you. You don’t need to convince others that you have changed. Consider all of the time you’re wasting chasing acceptance from others. The only opinion that matters is that of your own. Take a step back, breathe it all in and remind yourself that you are capable of change. You are no longer your old label. Today you are powerful. Strong. Passionate. Resilient. And worthy. You are worthy.
But if you are still stuck on your journey here a few more reminders…
People can be Selfish
It’s true. We don’t mean to be. But it happens. We are all busy and hustling away on our own path. So when we have an opportunity to stop and look at those who are closest to us we only notice the big external changes. This happens because we are so busy on our own journey that we miss what may be happening on someone else’s. Keep shining your light and all of the right people will see the changes that you have made.
Change can be Deceptive
This is twofold. You may have actively changed the way you speak to yourself, read a couple of self-help books or even taken a course on meditation but the truth is you really haven’t changed. The change that you see could be in your mind. Take a step back and look deeply at your actions. You may have acquired the knowledge but there is a possibility that you haven’t applied it. This could happen to anyone. Here is why. It takes 21 days to change a habit. Don’t be hard on yourself. Simply remind yourself that you are attempting to change a habit that you have spent a lifetime building. It could take some time.
Secondly, remember that change frightens people. While you may have adjusted to changes that you have personally made you have to give others around you some extra time to adjust.
If after all of this you still feel that you are receiving the cold shoulder then it may be time to let go and start listening to the universe. Stop trying to mold people and situations into what you want them to be. Accept them for what they are. Move forward with the only thing that you can control, yourself. Let go of your need to be approved by others and you will find, that you, as you are, is the greatest gift.
By Melissa Fino