Our confidence has a big impact on how we enjoy life. People who are confident and happy with themselves unconsciously and positively affect the people around them. If you want to be more confident, there are several habits you can use. You can start with your body language. Stand tall and make eye contact with others. Work on developing a confident attitude. Be comfortable with yourself and your decisions. From there, change your lifestyle. You can increase your confidence by pushing yourself to take more risks.
Using Your Body Language
1 Stand tall. If you want to be confident, make yourself look bigger. A tall stance tends to exude confidence. Work on being conscious of how you’re carrying yourself throughout the day.
- Keep your posture straight. Hold your shoulders behind your back. Make sure to hold your head high.
- When standing, keep your feet close together. Relax your knees while centering your weight on your lower body.
2 Make eye contact. Confident people give off enthusiasm in conversation. If you want to appear more confident, you can look people in the eye as you speak. However, make sure to hold eye contact when others speak as well. Do not look away when you finish talking. Maintain eye contact throughout the course of a conversation.
- Avoid common behaviors that imply distraction, such as looking at your phone or scanning the room.
3 Engage in fronting. Fronting means aiming your torso towards the person you’re talking to. This can help make you look confident and engaged in conversation. As you go about your day, be aware of your body’s position during conversation. Make sure to keep your torso directed towards the person you’re speaking to, as this will make you look more confident.
4 Gesticulate. Talking with your hands can make you look animated about the topic. Excitement and enthusiasm can be read as confidence about the matter at hand. Also, you may sound more animated when you gesticulate.
- Move your hands as you talk to help illustrate a subject. Go with what feels natural to you. If you don’t gesticulate often, try practicing in front of a mirror to find hand motions that feel comfortable.
- While gesticulating can help, strive to keep your hand movements under control. Something too wild or out of control may be off-putting.
5 Keep your gesturing open. Staying relaxed and open makes people feel at ease with you. You appear confident as you look more comfortable talking with others. Make sure you’re not closing yourself off with your body language. Open gestures can help exude confidence.
- Make sure to show the palms of your hands when you’re talking.
- Avoid crossing your arms or hiding your hands.
- Hold your arms around waist level when speaking. This will make you read as open and confident.
2. Cultivating the Right Attitude
Source 1 Embrace your imperfections. It may sound strange, but recognizing your flaws can actually make you come off as more confident. No one is perfect. An attempt to mask imperfections can be read as insecurity. Instead of trying to hide your flaws, embrace and accept them as part of who you are.
- You don’t have to define yourself by an imperfection. Learn to love and accept the fact you sometimes talk too much or that you dislike something about your physical appearance. This is only one small part of who you are.
- If you’re aware of and accepting of your imperfections, you will feel less of a need to hide or cover them up. This can be read as confident to others.
2 Take responsibility for your own actions. Insecure people tend to make excuses or cover up mistakes. If you’re confident, you know that a mistake or error is not the defining factor of your life. Work on taking responsibility for your decisions, both good and bad. This will make you read as more confident to those around you.
- Remember, you are the only person who can make things happen for yourself. You have the power to direct your life, for better or for worse.
- If you make a mistake, don’t minimize it. Instead, think to yourself, “That was a mistake. It was poor judgment on my part. I should try to do better next time.”
3 Have an “as-if” mentality. Whenever you feel yourself holding back, ask yourself “So what?” Take actions with outward confidence, even if you feel uncertain. Remind yourself that the worst that can happen is you won’t succeed exactly as you envisioned. For example:
- “I want to stand up for myself and say something, but they are going to disagree with me”. So what?
- “I want to go to that event, but I’m scared that I won’t know very many people.” So what?
- “I might forget what to say next during a presentation.” So what?
4 Avoid certain habits when talking. Be aware of how you talk. Certain words and phrases undermine your confidence, and can make you look like you have an insecure attitude. Learn to watch out for vocabulary or tone that diminishes confidence.
- Never open up a sentence with something that undermines yourself. Avoid starting off saying something, “I’m no expert, but…” or “This is just my opinion, but…” Also, things like “What if…” can sound insecure.
- Words like “just” are unnecessary and can make you look nervous or uncertain.
- Watch out for question inflection. This is when you end a sentence as if it were a question. This can come off as nervous, so avoid doing so.
3 Changing Your Lifestyle to Increase Confidence
1 Develop and follow through with action plans. Confident people have excellent follow through. They do not make big plans only to let them fall to the wayside. If you want to give off confidence, make plans and then follow through with them every time.
- Select an area where you need to grow. It can be something personal. For example, you want to be better about keeping up with household chores. It can also be something professional. For example, you want to work harder on finding a better job.
- Develop an action plan. Set specific deadlines and actions you can take to achieve these goals.
- Follow through with your plans. Even small steps will boost your confidence. You may not achieve everything exactly as you envisioned, but that’s okay. Taking action in and of itself can raise your confidence.
2 Find a mentor. If you want to feel more confident, one way to do is to surround yourself with confident people. Seek out someone you admire. Seek out a confident woman. Ask her to help you develop your own sense of confidence.
- You can find someone at work. You can ask a very confident co-worker to have coffee with you so you can pick her brain.
- You can also ask someone in your social circle. Maybe you know a very confident friend. She can give you advice on how to raise your own confidence.
3 Prioritize self care. Self-care should not be something thought of as self-indulgent. If you want to maintain a confident attitude, you need to care for yourself. You deserve rest and relaxation in order to maintain your confidence.
- Give yourself small rewards. This can be as simple as a warm bath at the end of each day, or a long walk to clear your head after work.
- Make time for the basics. Get enough sleep, eat well, and give yourself some downtime.
4 Exercise to bolster confidence. Regular physical activity has a lot of health benefits. However, it can also boost your sense of self-confidence. If you work out regularly, you will feel better about your body and its capabilities.
- At first, work out schedules can feel taxing. It’s not unusual to find yourself dreading your daily workout when you’re getting into the routine.
- Stick with it, even if you dislike working out. Eventually, you’ll find yourself looking forward to your daily workout routine and valuing the benefits to your mind and body.
5 Experiment with new things. Your comfort zone is not the place to stay. If you want major change in your life, you must push yourself out of your comfort zone. With every step you take out of your comfort zone, you’ll grow more confident.
- Do something that intimidates you. Go to a bar alone to make new friends. Try a new workout routine at the gym. Take up a hobby that you’ve always felt nervous about.
- Push yourself intellectually. Read a difficult book. Take a class in an unfamiliar subject area.